My Finest Hour

Hehehheh.

2010-08-16T23:35:00.001-04:00

August, 2010, for real?

Well, I have a job. Still have the ball and chain. And I am typing this from my new laptop.

HI. xo

2010

2010-01-06T13:37:00.002-05:00

Wow, 2010! Two more years until mankind's imminent doom!

It was brought to my attention by a careful reader and dear friend (whom I will call back THIS WEEK), that I have not updated in a long time. Moreover, my last post was one of woe and misery. Shame on me!

Let me assure my loyal fans that I am doing well. Still unemployed, which is primarily why I am doing well (heh). I was in California for three weeks and returned the morning of New Year's Eve. I'll perhaps write more about that later. But it's good to be back in NYC, and good to be back with the ball-and-chain. We are getting along famously and all seems right in the world.

Happy New Year!

Memories

2009-11-20T01:54:00.002-05:00

Oh, what a sad little creature I have been the last week or so. Paralyzed by the fear of wasting money, I spend most of my time in my 350 foot square prison of an apartment. I do get out, of course. This week, I've been awakening early to either run or workout. But somehow, I find myself back in the apartment and leave when there is only an hour of sunlight left. I don't blame the lack of light for my sentiment. I enjoy Fall/Winter! I'm just used to having a job when it strikes.

But now..now, I find myself unmotivated and just here. It's more than slightly depressing. Worst, it makes me second guess myself and those around me.

Namely, Zachary.

This evening, I met a friend for happy hour drinks, and we had a ball. I continued the party here at the prison/apartment. Riding a wave of nostalgia, I broke out the box of photos squirreled away in the closet and attempted to fill up my photo albums. I didn't get much done, but I did view many photos from my past. Many, especially of my first boyfriend/love. It is difficult for me to explain the importance of this person. Though it ended badly (I was 21, sigh), when I think of him, I think of how good he was. A good person and a good boyfriend. He was unselfish (though not selfless). He endeavoured to understand me.

I love Zach very much. But I feel he doesn't try. I am constantly feeling taken for granted and what fun is that! We have such a good time, and understand each other well. Am I the one being selfish now? Do I want too much? Sometimes I think yes, but most times..no. I'm 31 now. I should feel more loved than ever, but I don't. It makes me sad. So, I look at photos and remember simpler times.

It makes me sadder.

Being Boring

2009-10-15T11:35:00.002-04:00

Hi, Fans (?)

Do I have any left? The frequency of my posts is obviously an issue. I suppose I just don't feel like sharing my thoughts as much as I used to enjoy it. Still have lots to say, mind you, but I just can't seem to write it down. Perhaps I've been unemployed too long and my sense of self-worth is draining a tad? That could be a reason. Well, in any case, let's catch you up:

1. In late August, Zach and I went to Philadelphia and Chincoteague Beach, VA. A fab time!
2. Made the annual pilgrimage to Fire Island, courtesy Adam, and met two new friends. Hot dog!
3. Over Labor Day weekend, I sprained my right wrist quite badly and was unable to work out or do anything with it for three weeks. Bummer!
4. My parents came to visit and stayed with us for a little over a week. A wonderful experience!
5. I've been job-hunting. But seriously now. Mostly looking in the non-profit sector. Blah.
6. Have also been writing a tad. *shrug of the shoulders* We'll see.
7. I saw Alicia Silverstone this past week on 14th St!
8. Zach left this morning for a week. I'm on my own. And of course, the weather is shitty, so lots of indoor time - as if I don't get enough of that.

How have you all been?

(Here's a photo of our Virginia motel.)

Celebrity Sighting! Right Outside my Door

2009-08-28T10:59:00.003-04:00

A Beastie Boy. Right out in front of my apartment building! But, I mean, right in front. When I exited my building to go for a run yesterday morning, Adam Yauch (aka MCA) and two people with whom he was conversing had to move to get out of my way. What the hell they were doing talking in front of my building, I don't know. But I recognized him immediately and in that brief second during which we made eye contact, he could tell I knew. But fans, as you know, I am one cool cucumber, so I kept walking. Of course, I turned around a couple times to take another gander. MCA has been recently treated for lymph node cancer, which explained the long scar along his throat. I wanted to say something cool and Buddhist to him, but he wasn't alone, and I looked like a dumb jock in my running shorts and wife beater, anyway. So, here's my message to MCA - sending good thoughts out to you, man!

Stop It!

2009-08-22T04:16:00.005-04:00

Madonna, please stop with the plastic surgery. Please reverse what you've done. You're depressing me. For real! You were supposed to be the coolest.

before:

Summertime

2009-07-07T22:37:00.002-04:00

Hi Fans,

I KNOW! I've been terrible. It's so dumb, too. As I walk, talk and drink in this city, I always think, "I should write about this! These are good thoughts!" I'm afraid, however, that two things get in the way. One, I find it a nuisance that I have to type my thoughts. I would much rather you all read my thoughtful thoughts. So much easier! So much cleaner. In other words, I get bored of the idea of typing.

The second thing is that I am more and more conflicted about the idea of sharing my thoughts with the internet. More specifically, am I tacky for putting these thoughts into writing? I tend to think no, but I'm no judge.

In any case, today was so delightful. I wish I could have shared my feelings as I sat at an East Village bar enjoying happy hour. Truth is, I am lonely, often. But were I with people, I wouldn't want to say much. Such a contradiction! But, well, that is me.

Spring!

2009-06-08T22:43:00.003-04:00

Oh, gawd! What a boring last post I left up for you, my dear readers, to read over and over again!

It's simply ridiculous how I have so much time on my hands (still) yet make little to no effort keeping up this journal. The irony is not lost on me. Irony never is, actually.

I'll attempt to be better. In the meantime, enjoy this photo I snapped while in Mexico. My people were pretty industrious, eh?

Change

2009-05-13T12:23:00.002-04:00

Fans,

I censored myself yesterday. I deleted a post I wrote Sunday morning in which I discussed the possibile dissolution of my relationship because of a) my need for a change of scenery and b) a desire to have a kid. It was wrong of me to post that. I wrote it while in the mouth of despair.

I, from time to time, get the doldrums. But in the previous week, it gained a life of its own, and I truly felt helpless, depressed and overwhelmed. It was easier for me to think negatively than positively, and I decided the easiest thing would be for me to, essentially, run away. That was wrong and I'm glad I've come to my senses.

While, yes, there will be complications in the future due to my deep desires, it's possible to work it out. I love my boyfriend very much and we'll make it work.

This is Turning Into a Gossip Site

2009-04-30T12:16:00.005-04:00

More celebrity sightings, y'all!

Two in one day, in fact. My darling sister was in town and on Monday the 27th, during one of our many walkabouts, we encountered two actors.

At the corner of St. Marks Place and 2nd Avenue we saw Mr. Big himself, Chris Noth entering the Gem Spa to buy a couple papers (USA Today, Noth?) His yellow polo shirt's collar was popped. Le tack.

Later that day, as we were walking west on Grand Street near Ludlow, a small woman, flanked by two guys walked by us and let out a hearty laugh. The very familiar, distinctive, hearty laugh of Rosie Perez. Up close, she's quite pretty and young-looking. I instantly wanted to be her friend.

Celebs - they really are *just like us* Hah.

Close-up Celebrity Sighting!

2009-04-08T10:14:00.004-04:00

Dearest Fans,

Yesterday marked a week since my extended holiday. What better way to celebrate than to have a celebrity sighting? Zach and I met for dinner at Pinche Taco, a Tijuana restaurant off-shoot, apparently. After we ordered, we sat a table in the tiny Lafayette Street spot and who was sitting right next to us waiting for his tacos, no more than 5 feet away? Well, yes, Liev Schreiber. He spent the four minutes in my presence fiddling with his blackberry or some gadget of the sort. Then he was brought his three tacos and off he went - face still glued to his gadget.

I've seen him before, but this time I was much closer. He's handsome and tall. Lucky Naomi.

Oh, uh, Hey

2009-03-11T12:36:00.001-04:00

You must all be so worried about me. Well, you needn't be. I've been fine, though with a cold here and there. And now, today, I am off to Mexico City for a week, and Los Angeled for a further two weeks. Suck it, unemployment!

The Long & Winding Road

2009-02-17T23:23:00.001-05:00

I am feeling lonely.

Usually being alone is a preference. But one can only take so much alone time. I think I go to happy hours more for the novelty of having to speak to someone. I get a sort of thrill when someone asks me for directions or a cigarette (when I smoke, I mean!) I suppose this was bound to happen, and it doesn't make me want to run to a job. Just makes me feel alone.

That's all.

A Little Bit of Winter

2009-01-29T16:38:00.002-05:00

It's been cold and snowy in New York. And I love it. The only drawback is that I haven't been doing as much exploring during my unemployment as I wish due to the frigid weather. For though I do enjoy cavorting in the snow, staying out in it is another thing. And so, most days I will watch the winter loveliness from my window. Doesn't help that I've fallen ill, either.

Nostalgia

2009-01-24T22:35:00.001-05:00

After all these years, this remains my favorite Pulp song. (The video is less-than-spectacular, but still lovely.) The strings, especially are gorgeous.

R & R

2009-01-13T00:45:00.005-05:00

I had a good, three weeks or so, in California, and overall, it was simply a lovely, lovely time. So many little things to share, but not enough room, so instead of a linear narrative, let's do some bullet-pointing!

*Zach came home with me for the first four days and, as usual, everyone loved having him around. We made it to Silverlake one day to do some exploring, and another day went up to Griffith Observatory with the family for some hiking. That's where the sunset photo above hails from. He also helped make tamales. Yay, Zacky!

*My parents have moved into a new house, and it was fun to get to know it. The best part was my constant gardening. As I do not have a yard, I take any chance I get to work in the garden either planting, digging, weeding. Anything that gets soil on my hands. Feels so honest. We planted a number of fruit trees - can't wait until they mature!

*Since I was going to be in California for so long, I decided to spend the New Year in San Francisco as a treat to myself. Boy, am I ever glad I did. It was wonderful seeing old friends, conversing with friends whom I was unable to see (ahem, KA), and wandering the city.

As an extra treat, I spent a day in Berkeley with more wonderful friends. The only shame was that I was a tad hungover. Ah well. Vacation!

*It was sad finally leaving home, but it was definitely time for me to come back. In the full day I've been in New York, I realized that in SoCal, with my parents, I'm sort of like a boy, being taken care of. I love it. But here in NY, I'm on my own, and I feel (and am) a man. And, that, I love a little more.

The Lapse of Promise

2009-01-05T23:23:00.004-05:00

Hey y'all. Happy New Year. Sorry - another post with no photos.

I'm a bit down in the dumps today. Part of it is melancholy over leaving the Bay Area, yesterday, but most of it is due to my memories of my time at U.C. Berkeley.

Not my happy-melancholy memories of my time with friends, personal growth and freedom, but rather, my sad-melancholy memories concerning my actual educational experience. This all came to a head today as I sifted through box after box of material stored in my parents' garage. As they have a new house, they are eager to get rid of a lot. I don't blame them. So, in between looking at old birthday cards, yearbooks, and junior high love letters, I ran across two boxes of notebooks from various courses during my time at Cal. With the notes were graded papers and correspondence from TAs. At first, I smiled, going through the notes. But then I read some of my papers and the comments I received - how the hell was I let into Berkeley??

Many of my papers were poorly written, even more poorly researched and just seemed so slapped together at the last minute. I tried recalling writing some of them and remembered...well, yup, I really did just put them together at the last minute. Why did I not do a really good job? Why couldn't I have invested more time in reading all the materials, really paying attention in class, asking more questions? I completely threw away a world class education because my mind was everywhere else but there. Oh, I have my excuses, and I think they're valid, but I suppose ultimately, this will go under the "I wish I knew then what I know now" category. It doesn't stop me from feeling embarrassed reading those papers. The numerous grammatical mistakes and simple vocabulary! Ugh! Why did my intellectual curiousity disappear for four years?

Why am I making such a big deal out of this? Because of two reasons. One, in high school, I was pretty fucking smart. Being the editor-in-chief of my paper gave me an inflated sense of my writing, and my participation in numerous AP classes made me feel that I could breeze through college, I suppose. And you know, I *could* have if I only applied myself. I betrayed the promise of youthful intelligence. In college, instead of getting an education, I got laid. That's what it comes down to, I sometimes think. The second reason this is a big deal and it haunts me is that because of my less-than-stellar transcript, getting into a graduate program of any kind seems like a difficult-to-impossible challenge. Truth be told, this is the biggest reason I haven't applied for any program. I'm scared of being rejected because of my stupid 20 year old self.

Makes me sad.

If We Took a Holiday

2008-12-26T23:51:00.003-05:00

Fans,

Merry Christmas. It's been fun here in Southern California. On Tuesday, I go up to San Francisco for a few days. One day, I'll get pictures up on this piece.

Love,
Mikey

Sunny Skies, Here I Come

2008-12-18T11:20:00.001-05:00

I'm off for California, Zach in tow. Later, suckers!

ps: Rick Warren giving the inauguration prayer?? You know what? Fuck Obama. I knew I'd hate him as president.

Good Sighting

2008-12-16T00:42:00.003-05:00

Sorry for abandoning you, fans. You'd think being jobless, I'd have lots of time on the computer, but the truth is, absent looking at more porn, I'm not often online. I'm out enjoying the city! Or sitting in a dank bar coveting a cigarette. Whichever.

Today, though, I went up to Central Park due to the strange, warm spell we experienced today. After not being cruised by anyone cute in the Rambles, I started walking east out of the park. Close to Fifth Avenue, I noticed a tall and lanky father throwing a football around with his son. As I got closer, I thought "my, he looks familiar, and he's quite handsome." Then, just as I walked by, the kid fumbled the ball a bit, and it rolled towards me. I picked up, tossed it back to him, but it wasn't a good throw so it came back to me. So, I laughed, and threw it again. The kid laughed, and so did the dad - David Duchovny.

He's one of those actors who looks much handsomer in person. (I'm sure they hate hearing that). He's also very tall, and with a much lankier build than I would have assumed. Basically, he was fucking cute, and I wish he was my daddy. Heh. I believe he said "thank you" to me, but I'm unsure. As usual, I played it cool and didn't attempt a conversation or photo, but these people know they're recognized. What an odd living.

A funner photo of Mr. D:

Laid

2008-12-02T22:08:00.002-05:00

I WAS LAID OFF TODAY!!!

Fuck that fucking firm, anyway. It's mostly relief since I hated it, but it still pisses me off. I hate being a statistic. arrrgghh.

What A Turkey

2008-11-26T15:43:00.002-05:00

Have a Happy Thanksgiving, my dear fans. For once, I shan't be cooking the entire meal, which will leave more time to drink. As a Thanksgiving present, take a gander at this video. Ms. Sarah Palin doing an interview after "pardoning" a turkey, failing to realize the turkeys being slaughtered behind her.

That Sarah - she's one-of-a-kind! (I'd recommend muting the interview).

Blur Rocks

2008-11-15T03:36:00.003-05:00

After five beers and some whiskey, I'm in an expansive mood. In honor of my "blog" url's namesake:

And another goodie: the older, wonderful song, "Sunday, Sunday"

Health Problems

2008-11-13T11:54:00.003-05:00

Today's predicament: Write about my health crisis or about my pining for San Francisco and all my friends? Based on the title of this post, my observant fans, I have chosen the former.

So, I've had high blood pressure for over six years now and have been taking medication for it nearly that long. That's not new. I even have a cuff at home to monitor my numbers. What is new is the accompanying condition that my doctor has felt it wise to bestow: high cholesterol! Double-whammy. Just superb - my body has decided to open two fronts against me in the hopes of raising my chances of dying early. Great - THANKS, BODY! Okay - part of it is my fault. I have not always been the healthiest eater. I rather eschewed the healthy eating style in favor of steaks, pork chops and bacon. Bear in mind, I always ate my veggies and have been exercising steadily for the last two years, but apparently, it's not been enough. And so, in addition to my two blood pressure meds, I will begin taking a high cholesterol drug.

Frankly, I'm freaked because I feel it's just not fair. Additionally, this news has engendered a wave of frightening and strong anxiety, which of course makes the blood pressure worse. It's a circular thing. I'm trying to relax the fuck out, but my head has a mind of its own (har). After the initial pity party, I have decided to make a true blue effort to lower those bad numbers.

In short, I have become the person I never wanted to be: the food label checker. For the last week, I have been going through my pantry and refrigerator looking at salt, cholesterol and fat levels in my favorite foods and dumping (or ignoring) accordingly. I've begun eating oatmeal in the morning and snacking on nothing but raw vegetables and rice cakes (rice cakes!!). I am going to pretty much watch over everything that enters my mouth (food-wise, that is). Biggest of all: I am going to begin to limit my alcohol intake. That will be the hardest step.

I hate that this is something I need to do, but as I've grudgingly realized, I don't want to quite die yet. And hey, perhaps I'll get a little skinnier while I'm at it. (I'm trying to be optimistic).

Words of encouragement are welcome.

Belated Celebrity Sightings!

2008-11-10T10:42:00.006-05:00

Fans,

Now that election season is over, it is time to return to the really important things - celebrities! Duh.

On Sunday, October 26, whilst walking up Sixth Avenue on my way to the WFMU Record Fair (where I got several awesome records), I encountered the normal crush of people outside of Da Silvano, a popular Italian restaurant that I refuse to acknowledge. However, as I was wearing a rather tight t-shirt that day due to the unseasonably warm weather, I was aware of a pair of eyes on me (albeit briefly). I returned the gaze of none other than Calvin Klein, sitting outside with friends, looking much older than this photograph. So, yeah, I was looked at (very briefly) by ol' man Klein.

Two days before Election Day, I dragged my hungover self to the City Hall gym via Lower Broadway. Just below Canal, a tight-lipped, red-headed woman whooshed right by me on her way up Broadway. It took me just a second to realize it was Debra Messing of "Will & Grace" fame. She is a petite woman, but a determined one I could tell. Clearly she was in no mood to sign autographs should a tourist had dared to stop her. She reminded me of Lucille Ball with the lipstick applied outside of her lips.

Not bad after a long celebrity-sighting drought, eh?

Election Endorsement

2008-11-04T11:36:00.003-05:00

It's never too late to endorse, I say! And so, on this historic election day, I've made my choice, and I require you, as subjects, to vote the same way:

I am confident I made the right choice. Now, my feelings for Barack Obama have not always been warm, but they've changed over the last several months of the race. As the Republican campaign grew uglier and uglier, I was inexorably pushed closer and closer to the Democratic one, despite my claims of being an Independent. McCain/Palin relinquished any claim to the high road and proved themselves to be bitter, ugly people.

However, my reasons for voting Obama are not based solely on reaction to the Republicans. Obama has proven himself, over these last months, to be a steady, intelligent guy. In spite of the massive ego I still believe he has (and one has to have that to run for president), I feel he wants to genuinely change this country for the good. I, dare I say it? I have faith in him, and I truly hope he proves me, and everyone else who votes for him, right.

If he loses this election, it will be due to fraud. I have no doubt of that. And this time, we will not back down. But I'll try not to think of that for now. For now, let's get him elected!

Picture of the Day!

2008-10-20T16:33:00.003-04:00

From this past week's episode of Saturday Night Live. Can you feel the hate? Love it!

Photo Essay: Pacific Northwest

2008-10-14T22:26:00.007-04:00

Our Pacific Northwest trip was brilliant. It felt good to get out of New York and visit a new part of the country. Zach had been in San Francisco and Portland the previous week, so he took a bus from Oregon where he was picked up by our friend Darren, and they met me at the airport. It was very cool and grown-up - at least to me. Heh. Not only did Darren drive us into the city but graciously hosted us as well. That first day, we drove around the city a bit in Darren's convertible (awesome) and got to see several different neighborhoods. One of our first stops was the Jolly Roger, a taproom where we had our first amazing Seattle beer, a Maritime Brewing Double IPA. That's one of the best things abut Seattle: the beer! Wow..lots of great local breweries with the type of beer I like: IPAs. Over the course of the next couple days, Zach and I explored, on foot, much of the city. It was surprising how wide-spread the Seattle is - one definitely needs a car or command of the bus system. However, Zach's a walker, and so we walked and I didn't mind too much. We visited the Downtown, Fremont, Queen Anne, Capitol Hill and Belltown areas. Later on the trip, we enjoyed some good beer in Georgetown. My FAVORITE beer bar was Brower's in Fremont, where they happened to be having an IPA-fest. Can you say heavenly? I also stocked up on some plaid shirts from a thrift shop. You expected me to visit Seattle and not buy plaid? Please. I love cliches.

We broke up the Seattle trip by visiting Vancouver for three days via Greyhound. Except for the Afghani National who was taken off the bus at Customs, and the accompanying stress of border patrol being dicks, it was a great car ride. Our initial reaction upon arrival was that Vancouver was so much more urbane and cooler than Seattle. However, a day into this part of our sojourn, the lustre waned. Though imminently walkable, with a large international population, turns out, Vancouver is rather provincial. The liquor laws are arcane and the bad beer really kept me in a sustained bad mood for 3 days. I'll try not to judge the city on the beer, though. I will say this - the food was great! We had wonderful Japanese cuisine, oysters, and found the most awesome old style diner, ever. Another lovely thing about Vancouver was Stanley Park. Great nature stuff. I do recommend the city, but I have to say, I probably don't feel the need to return.

We traveled back to Seattle, spent another lovely two days there, and then sadly, our week came to an end and it was back to New York - complete with bed bug bites!! (But so far, no bed bugs). Damned Vancouver.

**********

Two things:
-Next Thursday, I turn 30. Sigh.
-This may be my last post for a bit. I just haven't had the desire to write. Well, definitely look for me closer to Election Day.

Whoa, Long Time

2008-10-06T10:42:00.000-04:00

Been a while - sorry to my four dedicated readers. This past week I was in the Pacific Northwest with Zachary. Seattle and Vancouver, to be exact.

Pictures coming soon.

Beer Fest & Good Friends

2008-09-16T22:42:00.006-04:00

Too late for a weekend recap you say? Well, I say too bad!

Fear not, however, it'll be quick.

Friday evening, Zach and I attended the opening of New York's Craft Beer Fest week at the South Street Seaport. The opening entailed a brew fest of 100 brewery tents and about 300 brews. Heavenly! Well, that's what I thought it would be as I walked there along the East River, viewing the Manhattan and Brooklyn bridges, enveloped in a rainy mist. However, once I got there...mayhem. Drunken douches and the girls who love 'em were prevalent. I thought I was going to have to bail, especially with the rain complicating matters. But I bucked up and found the first tent that would fill the complimentary 4oz. glass that served as my ticket for a free pour. (By the way, Zach and I won tickets from a website, and so avoided forking out $60!) By the 5th glass, I was feelin' fine. My favorite brew that evening: Arcadia Double IPA. I believe they are from Michigan.

The next evening, Zach and I dined with dear friends of mine from San Francisco. Always a treat to see them on the East Coast and we fell into conversations as if no time had passed. That's what I miss about my West Coast friends..that easy familiarity.

Sunday was a miserable day in the city - hot, humid and muggy. Finally ready to say au revoir to Summer.

Celebrity Sighting! - The Conchords

2008-09-08T13:10:00.006-04:00

This sighting is awesome because I interrupted a filming of an episode of the Flight of the Conchords. Truthfully, I am not very familiar with these chaps or their show.

So, how do I know of them? Through my beloved 18 year old sister who is a huge fan. These kids and their shows!

Anyway, this morning on my way to the F train, I noticed cameras and crew people galore blocking the subway entrance and gritted my teeth with the thought "these fuckers better not make me use another entrance!" And one crew person DID try to do that! But I barked "I need to get to work" and he stood aside and as I descended, who was standing on the stairs? Yes, the Conchords (I don't know their names, heh). They watched me go down and that was all. So, perhaps the back of my head will be on HBO soon.

I called my sister as soon as I could. She was ecstatic and jealous. Success.

Summer Soft

2008-09-03T23:41:00.008-04:00

Labor Day finished
Summer waning, days shorter
Then why so damn hot?

Despite missing the first month of Summer, I had an excellent one. True, I could live without the mosquito bites and hellishly hot subway platforms, but they're small prices to pay for the unique feeling of freedom and possibility one feels in the summertime.

These are photos taken in the last couple weeks. You'll see some culinary delights (mmm, shrimp ceviche), my new notebook grill (devirginized just last weekend) and photos from the Rockaways from this past weekend. We took a ferry there from Wall Street, hence the skyline views. And for good measure, I included a blurry photo of a total married stud - father of two, even(!) with the lovliest chest full of hair. He was just so yum that I had to take an illicit photo. How tacky, I know. But since it's blurry, I think I can safely post it.

The Nominee

2008-08-28T09:56:00.002-04:00

Okay, Barack Obama is the official candidate for the Democratic Party. No coup by the Clintons, no craziness at the convention. So, here's what I'm going to do: Though now registered as an Independent, I will carefully watch Obama's actions and look closely at his speeches and platform. I will overlook the arrogance I have perceived. Essentially, I will not make this personal. If I think he doesn't pander to the center or right in order to get elected or expose any sort of hypocrisy, I will vote for the guy. Even though I dislike him intensely, 4 years of his administration will be far, far better than another 4 years of a Republican one.

There, happy? Well, I sort of am. It's exhausting to keep the fires of hate stoked. I hope he doesn't fuck it up.

Wake Up, Dems!!

2008-08-21T10:25:00.004-04:00

I want to shake Democratic leaders by the shoulders and slap them around a bit! Don't they know they are throwing the election away by letting a certain presumptive Democratic candidate for president remain the candidate?!

Obama's poll numbers are down, and the rest of the country is now seeing him for what he is - or rather, what he isn't: experienced. Normally, I don't put much stock into poll numbers, but c'mon - a Democratic candidate should have WAY more points than a Republican one considering the last 8 years. It's as I've said from the beginning - an agent of change would be great - in 2016. Right now we need someone to fix the damn country, and of course, I still believe that someone is Hillary Clinton.

Okay, so instead of bitching, what do I suggest? I think Hillary needs to be all Catherine the Great-like and lead a coup at the convention and take the candidacy that she rightly deserves. Show that kid that she's got the stuff. She would kick McCain's ass upside down. I wish the stupid Dem leaders would realize that and fall in line.

Ah well: A boy can dream, can't he?

Twitching Anxieties

2008-08-14T11:15:00.003-04:00

Dear Fans,

Your hero has not been doing too well for the last two weeks. Wait - don't go! This is not another self-pity party! I've actually been in relatively good spirits, have been eating some fantastic meals, and things with the ball-and-chain are good. The "but" in this case is that throughout these pleasant weeks, I've been suffering from pervasive anxiety. It's the kind of anxiety that no matter how good of a time one is having, there's an underlying shortness of breath, the inability to catch one's breath, sleepless nights and worst of all - the awareness of anxiety. By that, I mean I'm aware of it at all times, so I can't make it go away, because by trying not to think about it brain power is being expended doing so, which of course means I'm thinking of it! What a Catch-22. Perhaps the most annoying manifestation of this anxiety has been an upper eyelid twitch that has continued unabated for these two weeks! ARGGHH.

The obvious solution is to pinpoint the source of anxiety. Or to get completely wasted every night until it goes away [because who thinks about being anxious when you're weaving down 5th Ave?] I bet you can guess which solution I prefer. As to the first solution, however, I don't even know if I can pinpoint the source. I'm generally a stressed-out, anxious person no matter how hard I try not to. Even as a child, I took on other people's burdens and made them my own. I'm a very empathetic person to the detriment of my own health, and frankly, I like that about me. But knowing I have high blood pressure, extra stress and anxiety is bad. I can feel the blood beating against my veins with too much pressure, and I worry about the inevitable heart attack or stroke...which gives me MORE anxiety. Oh, the joyous cycles.

Okay, you talked me into it; I'm totally getting wasted tonight.

This is what one does when bored at work

2008-08-05T17:03:00.003-04:00

Today was a day spent lollygagging on the internet. To make the day go by faster, I began watching music videos on youtube. I graduated to random interviews. Is there a better interview/interlude than this??! Love it.

Photo Essay: Random Summer Pics

2008-07-30T23:41:00.006-04:00

It's been a lovely Summer so far. Below are photos from San Diego and Fire Island.

iDon'tPod

2008-07-25T16:24:00.006-04:00

As many of you know, I am not big into technology. I don't get this iPhone thing, and I still don't have an iPod. Call me antiquated, call me foolish, but I'm perfectly fine with my CDs and CD walkman. I am aware that I look silly at the gym and when walking around, but I reckon I've always been an attention whore, anyway. Har. But the whole iPhone craze makes me think of my CD collection and thinking of this CD collection makes me think of the first seven CDs I ever owned. Unfortunately, without my CD index in front of me, I can only remember five. Ah well. Anyway, picture it: 1994. Ontario, California. A family of 6 and no CD player. As I had always been content to listen to my parents' music, I didn't really form an attachment to popular music then current. I was aware of music, but that was it. Then all of a sudden - and I do mean all of a sudden - one day I decided I WANTED CDs. And even then, when I wanted something, I got it. So, I filled out one of those BMG get-7CDs-for-the-price-of-a-penny! Once mailed, my patience returned. In fact, I may have forgotten about them, but when they were delivered, I remember being surprised, shy, happy and desirous. Then I remembered: I now have CDs, but we still don't have a CD player! With the same impatience and impertinence I displayed when wanting the CDs, I cajoled my parents to buy a CD player that same exact hour. After it was purchased, I set it up in my room, and for the first time, listened to music that I wanted to listen to. It was as ol' Madge sang herself on one of those cds, "music can be such a revelation.." Over the years, I continued to buy albums and expanded my tastes to include a wide variety. I was so into music (mostly indie) that I thought I had a chance in the record industry. Well, that was not to be, and by the looks of the business today, it's probably a good thing, as I would be jobless. My collection of albums now numbers over 535. My pre-New York CDs are in books, while the ones I have bought here have begun to clutter my dresser. I still love music, and listen to it constantly during the day and evening, but I no longer seek out new music. I've become that guy I had hoped not to be: the one into the music of his youth. But I make no apologies. I really like what I like and it makes me happy. That's what music should do.

ps: The Carpenters album was something I got for my parents as a thanks for letting me order the CDs. I was only 15! Why would I like them? Well, now that album is back in my possession.

Unglad to be Unhappy

2008-07-24T11:09:00.002-04:00

Been a while since I've bitched and moaned at you, you say? Well, then today you're in for a treat!

I feel deeply unhappy.

Let me count the ways:

1. I hate my job. As in I almost cried coming in today. This isn't because my job is horrible; it's not. I like (most) of my co-workers, and it pays well. But I don't belong here.
2. I don't know how to find a new job/career. It used to be that when I set my mind on something, I could do it. But I am at an impasse and it is depressing me.
3. I am at an impasse and it is depressing me!
4. This professional malaise is spreading into my personal life and self-esteem. I feel pretty unattractive these days. Lack of happiness affects one's appearance in my opinion.
5. I feel this unattractiveness and unhappiness is the reason I feel my boyfriend is not so into me right now. There was a time when he couldn't keep his hands off of me. And now? Not so much. It makes me sad and makes me want make a drastic decision.
6. But then is a decision made from insecurity a good thing? Likely not.
7. Oh yeah - I have about 2 dozen mosquito bites from Fire Island! Maybe I'm merely suffering from some toxic shock from the bites. Hmm..yeah..that's it! In that case, I'll be happy as a clam (whatever that means) in no time.

8. Clearly, I enjoy deluding myself. Bah.

Summer Sun

2008-07-18T00:37:00.003-04:00

I was going to post San Diego photos, but damm it, I'm tired, so I'm going to just post one, but it sure is pretty.

Off to Fire Island tomorrow for the weekend!

Seriousness

2008-07-15T11:11:00.002-04:00

Fans,

Back in humid, lovely New York! It hasn't been a smooth transition back, and I feel like I have to get to know Zach again before we start meshing again, but as they say, "it's all good." What isn't good is this presidential election. Obama is crying over a New Yorker cover?! "Tasteless and offensive"?? What is tasteless and offensive is the Obama campaign maligning anyone or anything that doesn't adhere to its talking points. Now, any campaign would do that, but it is the manufactured self-righteousness that this particular campaign exhibits that pisses me off. He's going to be as bad as Bush: You're either with us or against us. How is this "change" from the current politics of DC? It's not.

As you can tell, I simply have not been able to rally around this candidate. I'd rather his wife were running - she is, and to me, has always seemed genuine. But she's not running. And I don't know what to do come November 4th. Definitely no McCain! But who?

As a start, today, I mailed a voter registration card. I am no longer going to be classified as a Democrat. Independence is my party.

The West Coast

2008-07-08T15:33:00.002-04:00

Fans,

I'm STILL in California. In fact, yesterday marked the one-month mark of my West Coast sojourn. It all ends tomorrow when I fly back to New York. I'm excited, nervous and sad. I've enjoyed my time in San Diego, and here, in LA. After the horror of work was completed, I spent the holiday weekend with my family barbecuing, going to beach. record shopping at Amoeba and relaxing with no fear of being near a copy machine. With this mini-vacation ending, however, I must decide what the hell I want to do with myself. I can't fathom staying at my job anymore. I'm just not into it, and so, am going to seriously think about quitting. That's what makes me nervous.

Ah well. For the time being, I will enjoy the remainder of my stay.

Photos in next post.

Sunny Days

2008-06-25T18:05:00.002-04:00

In San Diego, it's always a sunny day. Every day starts off with the hopefulness of gray skies, but it's merely a marine layer that burns of by 11am and the rest of the day...clear skies, cool breezes and abundant sunshine.

I'm getting a little tired of it.

Aside from work (which has just been KILLING me), I've been enjoying San Diego. The food is good (especially real Mexican!), the people nice and the aforementioned weather pleases. It's a very pleasant place! But there's an dark undertone to all the niceties of the city. For one, there is a large number of homeless on the streets. Mind you, I am not an anti-homeless advocate. It is something I strongly identify with (though mostly through courses taken in college). However, it is so widespread that it's disconcerting. Another undertone is the feeling of a lack of culture. Everyone is kind of the same. Same baggy shorts/short shorts, same tank tops/halter tops, and the same ubiquitous flip flops. Good God, this is the flip flop capital of the world! I feel people don't need to exert more energy than they create. It's a little stagnant.

In short, life is too easy here. Too casual. I can see how people dig it. I definitely don't. I'm ready for New York with its crowded streets, unbearable humidity and strong sense of self. As much as NYC is changing and annoying me, that's where I belong. For now.

Adventures in Southern Southern California

2008-06-12T20:36:00.007-04:00

New York has been going through beastly weather - high temperatures and higher humidity. Beastly. Happily, I've not been experiencing it. HAH! I've been in San Diego since Saturday afternoon. Alas, not for vacation (because why would I choose this place for that reason? Puh), but for work. I was flown over and put up in a swanky room for a trial which begins this coming Monday. Work is 13 hour days, etc., etc. Who cares. The best part so far has been seeing my family. My parents and one of my brothers came to pick me up at the San Diego airport, and after leaving my bags with the fawning front desk, off we went to:
!

It's always fun for me to go to the land of my forefathers. We decided to skip Tijuana and drive down along the coast to a small lobster village we used to frequent in our family's younger days. Along the ways, hilarity ensued! We got stopped at the border going IN and had to submit to a car search. How vulgar. Once we hit the highway the telltale smell of Mexico greeted us; I've missed that. As we passed Rosarito, one of the bloody tires blew out! I've never been in a car where that has happened. We were able to pull over and it was as if we were all raised in a NASCAR state because we had that tire fixed in 4 minutes. Shit was shredded. The tire, not us.

Eventually we made it to our destination and after a pitcher of margaritas, were feeling no pain. What was feeling pain was the lobster I devoured.

An enjoyable meal!

The drive back to the U.S. was not without family drama; bless them. The clouds rolled in and the Pacific Ocean took on a mysterious aura. It was beautiful. One of the more depressing aspects of visiting Baja California is the crowd of peddlers selling their wares to the car passengers waiting to enter America. It always pains me to see 5 year old girls selling gum and candy to help make a living. I hid behind my sunglasses.

We finally made it back to the hotel, and the next day my folks left. It's always wonderful seeing them, but also a little exhausting. I feel guilty for writing that, and more for thinking it, mais c'est vrai.

More on San Diego later, but for now, every night I curl up in my king-sized bed wishing my boyfriend was next to me.

Sigh

2008-06-04T10:40:00.003-04:00

The thing about hate is that it begins to dissipate when it does one no good. My hate for Mr. Obama was real, but perhaps was a little overemphasized due to my love for Mrs. Clinton. Now that the end has come, I'm going to use the next month or two to deprogram myself and come to terms with the big picture: No more Republican presidents. And truthfully..the historical aspect is giving me goose pimples. While I would have rather have had Clinton as the first female president, we chose a black man as a presidential candidate. Amazing and by time. As Michelle Obama so tactlessly said once: For the first time, I am proud of my country.

Oh, Hai

2008-05-27T11:13:00.002-04:00

Fans,

I've got nothing for you. Absolutely nothing! This past week at work was long and arduous, but the weekend that followed was long and languorous. Gearing up for a trial in San Diego in a couple weeks and that is sapping all my energy.

But let me use my lovely soapbox to say one thing: I still DETEST Barack Obama. His arrogant tactics make me sick. While I certainly won't be voting for McCain the crackpot, Mr. Fake-Happy-Smiling all the time is still not guaranteed my vote.

That is all.

Celebrity Sighting!

2008-05-15T11:00:00.003-04:00

Work has been extremely busy these past couple weeks, and it's not been pleasant. But yesterday it was calm enough for me and some co-workers to let a vendor take us out to a slightly boozy lunch. We went to a Mexican restaurant on 2nd Avenue, where I drank a rather tasty mango margarita and lunched on some amazing pork shoulder. Anyway. Who was sitting but a couple tables away? Ms. Kathleen Turner! What a sighting. She was having lunch with five other women. Funnily enough, someone other than me noticed her first and that's weird because I usually have great celebrity-radar. Well. If you've seen photos of Ms. Turner recently, obviously you'll know that she doesn't look like she once did, but who fucking does?? I thought she still looked amazing, and please. That VOICE. Her voice is simply without equal. I was completely starstruck. Too bad the guys I was with were pretty much acting like chauvinistic pigs. I hate straight guys sometimes. But forget them. Vive le Kathleen!!

Photo Essay: 6am Rooftop

2008-05-08T22:49:00.004-04:00

A few weeks ago, Zach and I stayed out until 6 am or so and after getting home, hung out on our roof. His brother was visiting and joined us. It was lovely.

Pretty Damned Bummed Out

2008-05-03T11:58:00.002-04:00

Our family dog Belle was put to sleep yesterday, a hard but necessary decision performed by my mother. I am generally not a pet person, but Belle was quite special. After 17 years with us, she was part of our family. It's going to be weird going home next time and not seeing her face at the window. I'm going to miss her very much.

Wedding Bells

2008-05-01T11:31:00.006-04:00

Dearest Fans:

This weekend my lovely friends Kate & Keith are marrying after a three year courtship. I couldn't be happier for them. I'm at the age where many of my straight friends are marrying, which is how it goes. But what would I feel if the gays were allowed to marry (in all states), and began doing so? After reading this past Sunday's New York Times Magazine cover story, I'm not so sure I wouldn't boycott them!

Let state my true opinion: I feel gay marriage should be legal, accepted, and treated as "normal" as any heterosexual's. If allowed, hell, one day I'd probably want to do it. However, I have serious issues with the attitude many gays co-opt in attributing normalization to marriage. I have a problem with being 'normal'. What is normal in today's society? Marriage, kids, house, the mall, celebrity worship. And boredom, apathy, inertia, status quo.

This article pissed me off because all those boring gays interviewed are just that: boring! They are all from the same cookie cutter, and it depresses me that these young guys in their early 20's feel that having the 'normal' trappings of life is something to aspire to. Those normal trappings include being judgmental to those who don't share their world view. "Aha!" you're thinking, "They're judgmental? Look at what you're saying Mike." I suppose, yes, I am a little, but at least I can see both sides of the argument. I feel gays gung-ho about marriage don't. I'm basing this on conversations I've had with people, and on what I read, this article included. They feel they have to follow the ritual path of courtship, engagement, engagement party, wedding, picking of a song, etc., etc. It's so lame! Why follow a model that has been designed (however subtly) to exclude gays? Why should we follow the same well-worn path?

It didn't help that this article featured the kind of gay I avoid like a sports bar. They are all WASPS, perpetuating stereotypical gay characteristics, equating good taste to throwing fabulous parties. They're all around rather ghastly. It shouldn't have surprised me that they're the ones getting married, but the fact they're all in their early 20's shocks me. Who would want to waste their 20s on marriage?? Do they not realize they're still unformed blobs who have a lot more maturing to do? (As a 29 year old, I can say that). They argue that their parents married at that age, so why not them? Such a b.s. statement. Unfortunately, I see futures rife with cheating and divorces because hello! Queens or not, they're guys and guys like having sex. You think a 23 year old is going to hold back? (Gosh, I don't think I'm that cynical, by the way..just realistic.)

The author argues that young gays aren't as tortured by being in the closet like previous generations and so, feel it's a normal thing to get married, but I suppose that goes back to my main issue with these gays: that desire to follow that worn out path. They want the same things that they've seen on tv and movies without really knowing why. They just know that others have done it the same way and they should too. It's either really tacky...or simply human nature.

Photo Essay: April in SoCal

2008-04-17T23:54:00.006-04:00

To be brief: the ground photos were taken from 30,000 feet - LA looks pretty cool, don't it? The boy playing with the grass in the uniform is my awesome nephew. We spent two-and-a-half hours in the blazing sun watching kids play ball. Not my idea of fun, but he's worth it. Lastly, pictures or our dog, Belle, the main reason for my visit. Age has definitely caught up with her, and who knows how much longer she has, but during this visit, she was as spry as she could be.

Sun & The Biz

2008-04-16T16:40:00.006-04:00

My trip home was fantastic. Not only did I get to see our dog again (pics in the next posting), but I got to spend good, solid time with the family - without fights or fussiness! The weekend in LA saw temperatures of 95 to 100 which would usually drive me nuts, but I enjoyed it and soaked in those rays. And hell no, I didn't use sunscreen. We mostly sat in the backyard under trees and drank beer. Ahh, the good life.

The good weather continues here in NY, where today for the first time this year, I had lunch outside. It's great people-watching time. And man..all those guys in their suits walking around...they're probably all douchebags, but my, how they make me thankful for working in Midtown. (Hey, we all have our turn-ons).

Speaking of douchebags, I flew business class roundtrip (used up most of miles to get that), and after experiencing that, how does anyone ever go back to steerage? I mean, coach? I reckon I'll be reminded soon enough.

The Bi-Coastal Life

2008-04-09T15:32:00.003-04:00

Fans,

Try not to miss me this weekend. Utilizing most of the frequent flier files I've accumulated, I got myself a last minute ticket to LA to see my family. More immediately, I got the ticket in order to say goodbye to our dying dog, Belle. Before laughing/rolling your eyes/scratching your heads in bewilderment, yes, this is the same Mike who has professed to detest all domesticated four-legged beings. This is also the same Mike who states there is an exception to every rule.

Belle, a scruffy little black and white mutt, has been with us for seventeen years. 17! She's just a year younger than my little sister and these bratty days, a little more precious than her too. So, of course she's part of the family, and I am realizing now how much I love her. Cancer is a bitch in any being.

My sudden and impending visit delights my parents (despite the reason), and I'll be really happy to see them too, but...but..as much as I like thinking I have royal blood somewhere in my family line, they treat my trips like state visits and it's a little wearing. It makes my brothers irritable because they feel displaced. It makes my mom and dad kind of bend over backwards for me. While I appreciate it, I wish they'd relax and let me enjoy being in their presence rather than them worry if I am having a good time. What shouldn't be stressful becomes so.

It wasn't always like that. Even after I left for college and would come home, things were "normal". I suppose it changed after I left for New York and saw them even more infrequently. And surprisingly, it's my father who fusses more. Now, me and my dad have had major issues in the past, but they have dissipated. (In fact, they melted away faster after my coming out - Oedipal complex neutralized?) My dad has always been loving, but could be rough around the edges. And I could handle that. But my dad the fusser? It weirds me out, man.

But look at me - bitching about my parents loving me. Poor, poor me. The fact is, I better enjoy it, because all too soon, it'll be me fussing constantly over them. (Not too soon though; we're not that old!)

Spring Reading List

2008-04-02T11:05:00.010-04:00

It seems that New York has not received the memorandum that it is officially Spring. As you all know, in some depth, I am a fan of cold, icy weather. However, even I have tired of the jacket-wearing climate. I want some sun and outside time. I want to read the growing pile of books resting on my dresser by the river while my fishing line is cast. (Yes, I now have a fishing pole!) And I want this to happen soon, because I've got a good crop of books I am reading or getting ready to read.

An excellent account of the peace process that followed World War I. The author's writing is clear, confident and masterly. Most people know that Germany got the short end of the stick in terms of reparations, etc., leaving Germany weak and susceptible to Hitler, but this book also shines attention on the fate of other Central European nations, as well as the Middle East. How arrogant the West was! A very good read.

Starting to see a trend here, fans? I actually bought this book long before I acquired 1919, but I could not get through the first fifty pages! It's densely written, which is not to say badly written, but it was sort of difficult for me to slough through. I suppose the fact that no monarchies were involved made it drier for me. However, I think the problem was I did not know enough about the first peace in 1919 to get me where I should be to understand what happens in 1945 and beyond. I'm looking forward to giving this one another go.

As you can see, I'm on a history kick (as usual). China was always fascinated me, especially the ancient dynasties. However, I don't have as much knowledge of their modern government to form a strong opinion of the country, and considering how quickly China is rising/has risen, I think it's important.

Yes, a fiction book! Truth be told, I purchased this title two years ago and was again stymied by the density of its words. I set it aside for a time when I would more mature to handle it. And lo', that time is now. It's been an excellent, entertaining, and deep read. Dostoyevsky certainly captures the many facets of the Russian being in the 19th century. I feel his observations and analyses might not be so far off for the Russian of the 21st century.

Last, but not least, in anticipation of Summer beach weather, I am rereading parts of...

A true gem! If Karl can't help you, who can? (Here's a spoiler: just eat water and air, and you too can be as slim as Karl!) Bless.

Georgia Mountain Photos

2008-03-25T22:55:00.007-04:00

After all the excitement of Atlanta, Zach and I were looking forward to two days with his mom and step dad up in their cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains, two hours north of Atlanta. Totally what the doctor ordered. Their cabin is beautiful (and which is NOT represented in the photo below!) and we had a fun time hanging out with them. Also spent some time with their crazy black Labrador who had a penchant for jumping on people. Oh country life. We hit some thrift shops in town, did a small hike to some falls and had lots of food. His mom is about the warmest person out there, and she and her husband made me feel completely at home - no easy feat for this easily homesick guy. When it came time to leave, well, we didn't want to.

Atlanta - Tornado, Wedding & A Gun

2008-03-22T23:21:00.008-04:00

Fans,

Has it already been a week since my visit to the fairest city of the South? Indeed it has been. In fact, a week ago right this minute, I was fairly inebriated at a wedding. But I'm getting ahead of myself. First, this tornado business.

We happened to land, oh, just ten minutes after this tornado battered downtown Atlanta and surrounding areas. One of the surrounding areas being the neighborhood Zach and I were staying. Just two blocks away from his friend Adam's house, lay houses and sidewalks in utter destruction. Huge, hundred year old trees were uprooted, causing sidewalks to split and roofs to be turned into matchsticks. The power of this storm was mindblowing. It was quite the welcome. At the risk of sounding insensitive to the plight of the dispossessed, walking around the neighborhood was one of the funnest times I had there. It was so how I expected Atlanta to be - the excitement of walking around in the dark, beer and scotch in hand, jumping over power lines and dodging branches. It was surreal. It was also a good introduction to some of Zach's friends. (I didn't take many photos the next day because I didn't want to be gauche. Ah well).

The next day was the main event: the wedding. It was in a lovely church with the reception being held at a nearby park (in a building, on the park, I mean.) There was some good eatin'! The southern food station had some delicious fried chicken and gravy, jalepeno grits, biscuits, and other goodies. And of course, open bar. Need I say more? As the drunkeness spread, so did the laughter and friendliness. Had some cool conversations with cool people. Including one on politics with me not proclaiming my hatred for you-know-who! As much fun as that was, alas, the next day I spent some quality time with the bathroom floor and the toilet.

The gun

The craziest, most retarded and truly unexpected event occured the following night. After a day of climbing Stone Mountain (SO not recommended during a hangover) a group of us went to drink beer and eat burritos in Decatur. Later on, Zach and I were to go to a club - his old stomping grounds, in fact, to see a show and see some more of his close friends. On the way to the club (we were being driven), we were stopped at a red light in this tunnel when we were hit from behind! We looked back and saw the face of a catatonically drunk 20-something year old. While deciding what to do, what did the dickhead do? He tried to back out of the TUNNEL (with pillars separating the opposite way of traffic) and hit the car in back of him! Then all hell broke loose. The people he hit were, safe to say, rednecks, and they were not happy. The redneck guy nearly pulled Drunkie out of the window before Zach's brother stopped him. The ensuing thirty minutes became a farce. Since we were at the front of the tunnel and wouldn't budge until the cops came, all traffic was at a standstill. The drunk's friends (2 of them) tried to talk all parties and talk them into leaving. After refusing, Drunkie got into his car and started it. He was so drunk that he was going to try to get out any way he could. I was incredibly fearful that he was going to kill one of us, so I marched to his car, practically climbed into his window, put his car in park and took the keys from his ignition. I was rather heroic, I must say! (har) The drunk idiot forgot 5 minutes later he didn't have the keys because he tried to start his car then and again on numerous occasions. What a jerk to be driving like that. In the meantime, a car driven by a very cleancut, professional looking guy going the opposite way in the tunnel stopped and asked if we needed help. Thinking he was an off-duty police officer (because he looked like one!) we said yes. His way of helping was pulling out a gun. A black, squarish gun. A fucking gun! He yelled at the drunks to get into their car (which they did) while we all backed off. I could have peed myself. After a few minutes, after hearing the [real] cops were coming, he drove off. Holy shit. Anyway, eventually his two companions fled, the cops came and took Drunkie away and we got to the club an hour late where the MOST surreal event occured:

We made scrapbooks with some of Zach's good friends for the next two-and-a-half hours in the middle of an empty bar on a card table.

Now THAT I wish I had a photo of.

A T L

2008-03-20T15:06:00.002-04:00

I came. I saw. I conquered..

..my fear of Atlanta. Yup, I finally made it to Zach's hometown and let me write words I never thought I'd write of that city: I miss it. I had a fantastic time and wouldn't even mind visiting again in the near future.

So much happened in the short 5 days that we were there that cannot be encapsulated in this one post, so I guess I'll treat this as a sort of summary post. (Photos in additional postings later).

The reason for our visit was a wedding of one of Zach's old friends. However, we split our time between Atlanta proper, and Zach's mom's cabin up in the mountains two hours north. During our time in the city, I got to meet a number of his friends. What should have been overwhelming was not. His friends are lovely and friendly and made me feel welcome. (Such a change from old boyfriends' friends, let me tell you). Seeing him interact with them allowed me look at Zach from a new viewpoint. These people were part of his life pre-me and I was the interloper. I kind of liked it. As they spoke of their shared experiences and histories, I realized, "wow, Zach was popular". I also realized how happy he was down there in his 20's and how much his friends mean to him (though he won't say that aloud due to his unremitting lack of sentimentality). The whole, fresh viewpoint thing made me re-realize how much I like the guy.

Outside these observations, it was one of the more eventful weekends of my life. It involved a tornado, car accident, a gun being pulled out, climbing a huge rock and a fishing pole.

The South lives on!

In a Room and No Longer With a View

2008-03-14T00:37:00.005-04:00

For the past three months, I've been ensconced in a corner office on the 43rd floor at 30 Rockefeller Plaza. Not bad, I'd say. Unfortunately, it was only temporary; I'm now sitting in a secretary station. Hot dog!

During my reign in that lovely window office, these were my views:

Hiatus?

2008-02-25T22:53:00.002-05:00

Sorry fans; I haven't much felt like writing these days. I'm going through something, but I don't know what. Something in my professional life needs to change, I reckon, and until it does, I'm stuck in this funk.

One thing has not changed: Down with Obama!!

Byebye.

Bracing Myself

2008-02-13T10:09:00.003-05:00

Fans,

I am simply horrified that arrogant prick Obama seems to be on his way to the nomination. I'm still rooting for Hillary, but must be pragmatic in the face of his steamrolling victories. It has gone horribly wrong for her, and through no fault of hers, in my opinion. She has continued to speak to groups, answer questions, clarify her statements and strongly state her positions.

But the media gets bored by that!

They want rallies and screaming people! Mesmerizing oratory! Vague notions of togetherness, unicorns and rainbows? Sure! The media loves this guy and is painting a rosy picture. Do you think for a second that if Hillary Clinton was a smoker trying to quit during a campaign that that would get no coverage? Fuck no. But Obama gets a pass. He gets a pass for not stating his positions or his answers to the problems we face.

America continues to show its ignorance and stupidity. America continues to be duped. That arrogant jerk will never get my vote.

Civic Duty

2008-02-06T01:10:00.000-05:00

As I write, it's too early to say what will happen in Calfornia for the Democrats, but in New York, Hillary Clinton will claim victory. Take that hipsters in Williamsburg trying to get me to vote for what's-his-face! I like to think my vote made a difference:

I'll probably get arrested for taking those photos.

Oh, don't worry, fans. I'll be off this political kick soon.

Roundup

2008-02-04T11:55:00.000-05:00

Two things have been on my brain/in my dreams this weekend: "Super Tuesday" and babies.

Fans, did you know that I - playboy extraordinaire - am highly desirous of having children? It's weird - I've known since I was a kid that kids were to be in my future. And I wanted them while I was still young - what's the fun of having an old fogey dad? However, as I approach 30, I feel that clock ticking. I realize it's not and there is time, but man, I want a baby. Obviously lots of factors at play preventing me from even thinking about it seriously..but pretty soon - very soon, in fact, factors be damned, I'm going to have a kid. I fear it may be alone that I do this. A certain bf of mine isn't into the idea. Oh, what the future will bring!

I dreamt obsessively over the primaries tomorrow. I am getting pretty fearful that Obama might beat Clinton. I'd be devastated. I just want Tuesday to hurry and come and see where the chips fall. At least the waiting will be over. I can't believe so many gullible people have had the wool pulled over their eyes in thinking this guy can transform this country. Yeah fucking right.

And ps: I totally watched the Superbowl last night. Whatever. I was in a jock sorta mood.

Common Commenters

2008-01-28T12:14:00.000-05:00

Fans,

So, it's no secret who I am supporting as Democratic candidate for the presidency. I like to think that despite my rather vehement feelings about certain individuals, I have articulated my stance with some measure of fairness and style (and good spelling.) Therefore, it pains me when I go to cnn.com or The New York Times online and read the plethora of comments left by readers of each site.

I think to myself: wow, these people are idiots and should probably be disenfranchised and/or sterilized.

The majority of comments are full of factual blunders, over emphatic emotions, horrible spelling along with a general sense of their rightness. I can see that - we all want our opinions to matter most, but when I see some of these comments, I think my opinion that they need a lobotomy is the rightest of all. Too many of these people don't really look at the nuances of a candidate's positions and actions in the past. Rather, they see the broad paint strokes being, well, painted by the media. The media has fallen prey to the dazzling oratory of a certain Illinois senator, and so, commoners who don't know any better have as well. (My opinion is correct, again.)

Anyway, I guess my overarching point is, too many people who don't know jack shit about politics except for their raw emotions are going to vote and vote badly. Hello, Bush two times in a row!

Obviously, during my impending reign, we won't have to worry about this at all.

Debates, Hangovers & Spaghetti

2008-01-22T15:39:00.000-05:00

Last night's debate on CNN between the three main Democratic candidates made for some good TV-watchin'! Naturally, I am happy that Obama got his ass handed to him. He proved that without a script in front of him, his "dazzling oratory" is nothing but that: style over substance. When the time came for him to articulate a viable economic plan, or his vision on health care, he faltered, looked lost and spoke in generalities. However, I do think that Hillary was a bit too aggressive and risked alienating many of the voters whose sympathy she gained when she got a little teary-eyed in New Hampshire. Perhaps it was a concerted affair and she knows what she's doing, but sometimes I want to be the one to advise her to take it easy! That said, she was authoritative and presidential and knows her details. We don't need a president who admits he can't keep his papers on his desk in order. I mean, c'mon, we've been stuck with a president who people voted for because they wanted to have a beer with him. Frankly, I'd prefer a president who I'm a little afraid of! (Intellectually, I mean.) Well, I'm thinking Hillary knows she won't capture South Carolina, but that's ok..she's got NY and CA in the bag. Obama - I still can't stand you.

I watched these debates at the tail end of one bad hangover. Good Lord! The night before, I made a rather good meal, and shared too many bottles of wine, followed by copious pints of beer. It was amazingly fun, but alas, the next day I paid for it.

My new cure for such days? A big plate of spaghetti! After I ate that, I slept like a baby. Ok, the xanax helped too.

The Time, She Flies

2008-01-16T16:33:00.000-05:00

Four years ago tonight, Zach and I went out on our first date. So, we consider the 16th our anniversary. I guess I can believe we've been together for four years, but I can't believe 4 years have gone by! See what I am saying?

We plan on eatin' fancy tonight! Followed by a moon-lit stroll through Central Park in a horse-driven carriage.

HAR! Nah, probably a couple drinks afterwards at a low-key bar. That's how me and my boyfriend roll. And hopefully will continue to for a while. He's the best.

Photo Essay: Walking Around

2008-01-14T23:08:00.001-05:00

The last couple weekends, Zach and I went on little walkabouts throughout the city. We were trying to play tourist in our own city, and the venture was a success. I suggest to anyone to momentarily forget you know the streets and to walk around and just look. Though this should be done in such a way that you're not blocking the sidewalk like a tourist, duh. Last weekend we walked along the East River and cut across downtown to the Hudson. What made this walk neat was that we went with the intention of seeing 211 Pearl Street. In last week's New Yorker, there was a great article (this link is only a blurb)about a very old building, with mysterious brickwork from the 19th century, being torn down to make way for an office building. However, activists succeeded in forcing the construction company to keep the facade of the building. These photos are of that facade. I think it's so cool that the developers have to go out of their way to preserve the walls (a big HaHa to them), and I'm glad even a little part of old New York will be visible in 21st century NY -- even if it will now be the entrance to a parking garage (!) The photo of the neon side belongs to the diner across the street from 211 Pearl Street. They make a really good chicken sandwich.

This past weekend, we did another walk along the East River, this time uptown. Across the river lies the Greenpoint waterfront. The empty shell of the building belongs to a warehouse that burned down in the last year. It was a 5 alarm fire, I think, and the smoke overtook the city. Apparently it began because some homeless guys were trying to burn the rubber off copper wire in order to sell. Zach thinks it's a conspiracy by the owner to collect insurance money so he can build condos. He's probably right. Anyway, I just think the building looks neat the way it is. Very Beirut 1985.

Politicking

2008-01-07T10:46:00.000-05:00

I'll come out and say it: I hate Barack Obama. I really and honestly dislike him. (I feel the same about John Edwards. In my opinion, they are truly unlikable men. But this rant is all for Obama). I understand I am at odds with almost every other Democrat or independent in the country, but I feel they are being blindsided by the power of press-manipulated charisma. (That the press has too much power is a known variable and will not be addressed here).

I don't think the man has the experience, smarts or humility to be president. Not to say he's not intelligent - you have to be to run a race - but I feel he's not reading the situation correctly. I feel no one is. Yes, we want change. ANYTHING after these 7 years would be a boon. It's obvious the way the caucuses have been covered - do any of you remember such attention being paid to these before? EVERYONE wants a new president, hence the desperate attention to the next administration. He touts himself as the "agent of change", but a simple change of leadership isn't going to do anything. I don't want to see the first two years of his presidency wasted trying to get on his feet. I want someone to jump in and begin. Someone who has been there and knows the pitfalls of a presidency.

Yes, obviously, I am supporting Hillary, and yes, I know her shortcomings are quite evident. But at least she knows what the hell to do. Frankly, it's not the time for a president to inspire us. It's time for a president to fix the problems of the last 8 years and leave the office to someone who will truly inspire us to be Americans in the 21st century. I don't mean to sound defeatist and that we shouldn't look at our leader without awe - that would be great. But the foundation for that needs to be built first, and I don't feel that a cocky, arrogant and holier-than-thou dick like Obama is the guy to do it. No one sees these qualities in him now because everyone is in love with him, but when that wears off, mark my words, people will see him how I see him - condescending, self-important, mean-spirited, and kind of a jerk.

How do I know I'm not just getting caught up in caucus fever and will calm down? Because I now wonder - if he gets the nomination, will I even vote for him? Not a good feeling to have.

Hey, has Bloomberg decided if he's running?

Adios 2007

2007-12-31T11:49:00.000-05:00

The end of the year, and I've got nothing! Nothing to write about! I'm sated from the holidays, not anxious about anything and sort of...relaxed. Clearly not a good place for a writer to be. So, instead, I'm posting music videos that I've been unreasonably addicted to this year (ie: watched when drunk at home on many a Friday at 2am). Smooch.

Home for the Holiday

2007-12-25T17:37:00.000-05:00

Greetings from sunny Southern California. Spending Christmas with the family, and except for a blowout this morning, of all mornings, the vacation is going well. Zach spent a few days here with us, and it was a treat. I miss him already. Sometimes I have to pinch myself and realize I lucked out with that one. But just don't tell him. Am I being too sappy? Perhaps. But beers on Christmas Day will do that to you.

Back in NY Friday.

The Twelve Days of Christmas Parties

2007-12-11T12:12:00.000-05:00

And so, the first holiday party of the season has come and gone. My firm threw the party a stone's throw away from our offices at 30 Rockefeller Plaza. Definitely not as lavish as my previous firm's party, but we're a smaller group, so it makes sense. Alas, the food was rather terrible. Cold fajita stations do make for easy eating, and so, there was not much to soak up the booze.

The annual recount:
-5 glasses of champage
-1 glass of red wine
-1 large Jack Daniels on the rocks
-2 shots of whiskey
-2 Brooklyn Lagers
-1 Duvel
-1 Heineken

Unlike last year, I did wake up with a slight headache. It was worth it - how can one not love an open bar!

I knew it was time to go, however, when we ended up at a bar with a mechanical bull.

Photo Essay: Queens

2007-12-09T23:14:00.000-05:00

Oh, hey.

After a very busy work week, this weekend was spent relaxing. Made a good dinner, drank some pretty decent wine and chatted with long-lost friends. A large part of it was also spent walking around - and get this - I liked it! Today, in particular was cool because I went to a part of town I had not been to - Flushing Meadows Park in Queens. This park was the site of a couple World Fairs ('39 and '64, I believe)as evidenced by the still-standing monuments that litter the park. I write mainly of the huge metal globe (which I think is totally cool), but also of these towers. I have no idea what they represented or what their initial purpose was, but they give the park an air of the history of wasted industrialism. Usually I'd consider that bad, but in this case, no. It made the park feel lonely and mysterious, and I like a lonely and mysterious park. We also went to a museum which housed the most awesome panoramic model of the 5 boroughs. Every single building (as of 1992) was represented in painstaking detail. It was amazing and made me remember how far flung our city is. After leaving the museum, we walked through Jackson Heights, which is such a lively, diverse neighborhood. I was in heaven walking past the many Latino taco and tamale stands. I didn't take any pictures, however, because I would have felt weird. Oh well. But I encourage anyone visiting (or living in) New York to visit. It shows that there is so much more to see of New York than just Manhattan.

As always, click to enlarge.

In the Name of God

2007-11-29T15:18:00.000-05:00

Well, another reason I'm pretty much an anti-Islamist. I think most organized religions are junk, but I find this one especially irksome, and childish to boot. Mustn't make a drawing! Mustn't utter his name! Mustn't name a TEDDY BEAR after him. This incident isn't about a lack of respect. It's about...

Well, I'm too busy to go into that. So how about I get childish?

This incident is about a couple billion stupid crybabies mired in a hateful religion.

Photo Essay: Central Park

2007-11-27T00:00:00.000-05:00

The weekend before last, Zach and I went up to Central Park. He needed to see his damn Fall foliage. I went because Sunday walks in the park help clear my hangovers. Jokes aside, it was a beautiful day.

Something Else

2007-11-20T15:32:00.000-05:00

The "Geek Squad" - a bunch of computer geeks at Best Buy were unable to find anything on my hard drive without going all out and charging me thousands of dollars, so for sure, everything is lost. To which I say: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK. Fuck digital cameras, too. I'm going back to my 35mm piece of crap. But a piece of crap that works and leaves only a physical trace.

i'm crying inside.

Holiday

2007-11-20T12:06:00.000-05:00

I'll throw you a bone: I'm cooking Thanksgiving dinner for 7 people. I bought a too-large turkey. I'll be having leftovers for days - and I can't wait. Late.

Disaster

2007-11-12T15:57:00.000-05:00

My laptop's hard drive crashed. Every file on my computer is gone. And NO, I did not backup my files, ok?!

Late last night, a virus hopped onto my computer via some music sharing site. Within twenty minutes, I was assaulted by vicious pop-ups. Within forty, it had disabled my anti-virus program (mostly by making the computer incredibly slow). Within an hour, I could no longer access Windows. Everything shut down and was gone.

I'm most upset about the photos I had on the computer. They're irreplaceable. And for someone very sentimental like me, it's a huge blow. I've been walking around today as if I've been punched in the stomach. I keep telling myself that it's *just* a computer and I am healthy (relatively), and it's not like my house was flooded and physical photos were lost, but it doesn't help. It's a bummer. I also have to worry about identity theft now, as well. More of a bummer.

There are data retrieval companies out there that say they can get the data back. Hopes up, right? Well, I don't think paying between $500 and $1600 is a feasible idea. Do you? Perhaps, you, my faithful readers can have a benefit for me, or perhaps a bake sale?

pooh.

Photo Essay: Pine Hill, The Catskills

2007-11-05T23:40:00.000-05:00

This year Zach and I did not go on our annual Labor Day weekend getaway, so we compensated by taking a quick weekend trip to the Catskills. This time, the town was Pine Hill - one of those one-road towns with two bars, and three restaurants, including one which had an all-you-can-eat buffet!! Let's just say the colonel isn't the only one who knows how to do fried chicken. We had perfect weather for a beautiful hike. While I'll admit I wasn't fond of this town, I will say that the hike was perfect. The multi-hued leaves on the ground made me feel I was walking on a carpet of crayons. (Prettier than it sounds). As always, click to enlarge.

Stars Out in Full Force

2007-11-01T13:16:00.000-04:00

Another sighting! I'm on a roll. I hope this page isn't soon devoted simply to the sightings of celebrities. Or maybe I do. Anyway, yesterday afternoon, on my way to the dentist, in the lobby of my building (30 Rockefeller), Miss Maya Rudolph of Saturday Night Live fame. In a decidedly unfunny mood, wearing braids, no make-up and a hat.

That's all, folks!

Celebrities Galore!: Redux

2007-10-29T11:53:00.000-04:00

The celebrity sightings keep piling up! Saturday afternoon as I made my way down lower Broadway in SoHo, a good-looking older woman began walking across the street opposite me. I noticed her because we both went a little out of our ways in order to bypass the tourists. Immediately I recognized her as Olympia Dukakis! I wouldn't say that I know her work well, but what I do know I've always liked. So, I was pleased.

Just an hour or two later, as I waited on the subway platform at Canal, I noticed a dimunitive, bearded but boyish looking guy looking around, making sure he was on the right platform (which he wasn't, because he soon ran off). I don't know how I did it, seeing that I really can't name anything he's been in, but I recognized him as Hugh Dancy. I think right now he's best known for dating Claire Danes (whom I've seen before). Anyway, he's British and very cute. Hugh - hope you found your train!!

Only in New York, Kids

2007-10-27T11:32:00.000-04:00

Great sighting/meeting last night. Former Mayor Ed Koch!

I had gone for post-work drinks with coworkers and got pretty sauced. Instead of taking a direct train home, I figured I'd walk in the rain a bit, so I took a train that dropped me off at Canal and West Broadway. The West end of Canal is so cool at night..uncrowded, relatively quiet, and on a rainy night, sort of romantic. Well, being slightly drunk and on Canal, duh, I had to stop for Chinese food. And what better place than Great N.Y. Noodletown? The place was busy - annoyingly so. Nonetheless I sat down and waited for my food. A few minutes later, I see an old man slowly start to walk out, dressed in a suit, and looking rather frail. It took me less than 10 seconds to realize it was Mayor Koch, but almost like a much older version of the man in photos I've seen. He was much taller than I expected and still rather imposing.

Now, I never talk to celebrities when I see them - tacky. But this is a guy I admire, and told him as much. "Mr. Mayor," I said, as he turned to me, "I admire you very much." He smiled an old man's smile and thanked me very much and reached out to shake my hand. We bid each other a good night, and off he went. All this in a loud, bustling Chinatown restaurant at 11:30pm.

Pretty neat if you ask me!

My Plane Didn't Crash

2007-10-23T13:11:00.000-04:00

I'm back from my whirlwind trip to LA. My plane didn't crash - a fact you lot don't seem to give a fig about. I've nearly had it with you all.

More about my trip later, but I'll say this: The best part was bowling.

Today I turn 29. Twenty-nine. The mind wobbles. My mind, namely.

*****

Oh yeah. A celebrity (actor) on my flight from LAX. Patrick Fugit, best known as the boy in Almost Famous. He's pretty tall and solidly built and yeah, cute. Boyish but cute. I think I may have been the only one to recognize him, though of course I pretended not to.

Stormy

2007-10-19T14:32:00.000-04:00

Heading out to L.A. tonight, and while excited to see the family, etc., there's the issue of getting there. I hate flying. The older I get, the more flight-phobic I become. Any bump in the air causes my palms to sweat instantly, and I am pretty much holding my breath up there the entire time. I feel tonight's flight will be even worse for me because the weather in New York is stormy. A black cloud (literally and figuratively) is hanging over my head. Oh fans, wish me luck!

Oh Brother, Help Me Spare this Tire

2007-10-12T12:08:00.000-04:00

My 28th year will go down in the history of my life as the year I gained the spare tire around my waist that would not go away. It's disheartening and depressing. I'm sure finding out what it means to be a man.

In the past couple years, as my metabolism has slowed, I've been cognizant of the fact that without vigorous exercise and attention to diet, I tend to plump up. Never to to the extent of 97% of Americans, but plump for me. After all, from ages 16 to 24, I remained a steady 145 pounds. I've come to terms with my long-lost figure. However, this new thing in my 28th year is freaking me out: I work out, I left weights, I run, to no avail! My spare tire and back fat continues to accumulate.

Ok, ok. I drink a lof of beer. A lot. I can't help it, I just love it. Ok, ok, I like to eat. Healthier, these days, but hey, I can't help it. I love food. So I need to figure out: what means more? A happy life of food and booze, or a neurotic lifestyle of counting calories and drinking water with meals? Clearly, the answer is (c) liposuction, but until I get the money, it's a choice between the first two. Blargh. Damn these Mexican genes of mine!

***

Well, excercise this weekend a definite. Zach and I are off to the Catskills for a weekend getaway. Should be a good time. Let's just hope I don't get cranky with my diet of nuts and berries and twigs and shit.

(This photo is not of me - I'm not that bad off yet. It's amazing - there's a photo for everything on the internet.)

Go See: Lust, Caution

2007-10-08T20:15:00.001-04:00

Today I saw Ang Lee's new film, Lust Caution. It was wonderful. I think almost all of Ang Lee's films have a certain original beauty and aesthetic that make them incredibly special. He has a knack for making films that crawl under your skin and stay there for a while. The cinematography, colors, angles, themes...he's brilliant. I highly recommend this film - despite its length, it's, from the beginning, engrossing. And it's also tense as hell without being a victim to the expected ending. It also made me sad, which, duh, is a hallmark of a good movie to me. What sweetened the deal is that I watched it while I should have been at work!

Would this Goddamn Day End already?

2007-10-05T16:21:00.000-04:00

Almost called in sick today, and decided against it. Then almost left early, but got pulled into do some stuff. Now I'm still here and could be here late. Fans - ALWAYS follow your first instincts! This week may have gone by quickly, but what's the use when your Friday drags on? KILL FRIDAYS!

I feel crushed.

Moms & Sons & Queens

2007-09-30T00:30:00.000-04:00

So, I like to drink. I enjoy a beer or bottle of wine with dinner. I'd love it with lunch. Just how I am. Once upon a time, I was a strict teetotaler - at the age of 18, I had never had so much as a sip. Joining a frat changed that, quick. (Yes! I was in a fraternity. That is a post in itself. But before I hemorrhage readers, know that it was a temporary loss of sanity. One that I would not take back, though. Everything we go through makes us the person we are now.) The point of this is that I like my booze. So does my mom. I got that from her, along with high cholesterol. HOWEVER, we are not alcoholics. At least unfunctioning ones. And I'm certainly not a drunk. Alas, I rarely slur these days, even after 2 bottles of wine. Anyway.

I went home for my mom's 50th birthday this past June, and while home one night, she and I shared a bottle of wine and some beer. As she became increasingly inebriated,she wanted to watch her favorite concert - Queen. It was almost sacred to her, the way she asked if I wanted to watch something special to her. Mind you, my parents are awesome and love their rock & roll. Growing up, my brothers and I always watched them get ready for their constant rock shows. Back then, to us kids, I suppose it wasn't awesome, but now I realize how young they were and I'm glad they didn't become boring for the sake of us kids. Ok, so Queen is my mom's favorite. She sang along to the concert we watched, to my faint embarassment, but she was so happy. It was weird and amazing. Before that night, I was only okay with Queen, but upon my return to New York I became obsessed. The things that my mom loves transfer over to me. What can I say? We're close.

I'm listening to them right now which brought upon this entry. They're fucking great. And I'm pretending that my mom is here as I type this and sip my glass of wine.

Stupid Ex-Boyfriend

2007-09-25T12:01:00.000-04:00

Dear Fans,

My ex-boyfriend is playing his stupid mind games with me again. That fucker really knows how to get my goat. Of course, I'm talking about my ex Jakey. For years, I tried to get him into riding bikes with me to no avail. I poured liters of chocolate and whipped cream over his lithe, writhing torso in hopes that a night of good lovin' (and eatin') would convince him to join me, but no! "What if I fall and break my face?? Then Spielberg will never hire me!" or "What if I fall and break my leg?? Then I'll never get that part!" I swear, he was so insecure before he made it. Well, as I was perusing my gossip web sites today, what did I see?

What a poseur. He thinks he's such an athletic stud now, but I bet he still needs training wheels. I prefer the old Jakey who would lay around naked and recite Baudelaire while feeding me grapes. Now, that's what I call studly. Oh well, yet another reminder why I dumped his ass. I will say, though, he looks kinda good. Maybe I should drop him a note...

Writer's Block

2007-09-24T11:41:00.000-04:00

Hi y'all.

This weekend I welcomed back my hot bf from his trip to the Deep South. He had a good time, and we had a lovely reunion. Then we walked around town yesterday and bickered. Things are back to normal!

As we perused the titles at a bookstore uptown, I came across a novel that an old co-worker of mine had written. He was actually published! His face was in the back, and he even name checked our old employer. I was glad for him - nay - excited! And what happens when I get excited for others? I get down and moody that it's not me. I should be getting published too, damnit! Oh, but wait. One actually has to have written something to get published, right? Oops. The only place I'm published is gawker.com and let me tell you, publishing companies aren't looking to print snappy one liners unless you're Mae West, and she is long gone.

The "book" I "started" over a year ago is in the same stage it was over a year ago. The initial confidence I felt over my abilities and the story itself faltered, and I've been afraid to write. Plus, I type so badly I'm always hitting delete, and I get annoyed. But it's mostly fear.

Well, perhaps this will be the jumpstart I need and then he and I can go on the same book tour circuit. My book jacket will be cuter, though.

Duh, I forgot: Celebrity Sighting!

2007-09-17T16:06:00.000-04:00

Last week in the lobby of my office building (30 Rockefeller Plaza), coming out of the NBC elevator bank was none other than Mr. Michael Douglas. I have to admit, my heart skipped a beat. Not because I am a huge fan, or because he is my cup o'tea, but geez, he's movie-nailed so many great 80's (and some 90's) actresses, and some of his movies are so iconic. He's a real fucking star.

He looked pretty good; trim, tanned and wearing a great off-white linen suit. So flustered was I, that I gave his (what I assume to be) assistant the wrong directions. I walked as fast as I could to the opposite way when I realized my mistake.

The Honeymoon is Over?

2007-09-17T15:10:00.000-04:00

Dear Fans,

This week, I am enjoying freedom, sweet freedom. My boyfriend is away for a week visiting his kin in Atlanta and I get to live it up in our tiny apartment. Clothes strewn about everywhere, dishes a mile high, pizza boxes all over, and a mountain of beer bottles. Ahhh, this is the life. Rather, this is the life I thought a man should have when he is alone, but turns out I believe in cleanliness. The apartment is cleaner than it ever is when Zach is around. In fact, when he is around, I am significantly messier. And it's getting on his nerves. Which gets on my nerves. Which means one is seemingly always nagging the other. Which frustrates me. Which makes me wonder: is this what it will be like from now on?

Is living with a significant other a nail in the coffin for the relationship? We've been living together for 10 months and up until now, my answer to that question would be no. But lately, it seems that we argue about things like clothes on the floor. I'm like "what??! Clothes can be picked up! I'll pick 'em up, but stop bringing it up! Ack!" Is the whole messy/naggy thing indicative of a larger problem? Is the romance dying?

I've brought this topic up in the past, so I've recognized that this thing can come and go, but every time it happens I get scared. Because I really love this guy, but if living together is breaking us little by little, then I'd rather live alone. (And don't even get me started on his forgetfulness among other things.) Maybe I'm just having a bad week.

For those in long-term relationships...does this happen to you?

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

2007-09-10T23:55:00.000-04:00

Dear Fans,

As usual, I spoke too soon. This weekend was hellishly humid. Clearly, Summer has a sense of humor, and I was happy to laugh along. Saturday was for chores and running around. As I went to sleep rather early and rather soberly the previous night, I was up at 'em early and went to my favorite grocery market, the Essex Street Market, which is an indoor food mart set up by Mayor LaGuardia years ago with the purpose of eliminating carts from the streets. I love it because prices are good, I get to support local farms and workers, and mostly because it reminds me of the markets in the city in which my mother grew up in Mexico. My short walk to the market from home is rich with the daily goings on of a community. I feel much more comfortable in my Lower East Side neighborhood in the morning when 'the real people' are out. Families, teens, seniors, most of them Latino. The day is when New York belongs to them. The usually loud, but now hungover hipsters and yuppies who take over at nighttime are still in bed. It makes me happy to see the daytime residents take over - It becomes their city again. I realize this is on the same level as a colonist saying "Oh, look at the cute natives! Look at them in their cute huts!" But that's not what I mean because I kind of consider myself one of them. Granted, they may not, but I do. Well, anyway, a good day to start the day. Sunday, Zach and I explored Red Hook, Brooklyn. A great, formerly industrial area right on the water. Just great for walking around. We found a really cool bar with great furniture and excellent beer, cute houses, empty warehouses and fantastic city views. (All of these photos are of Red Hook.) Eventually, the heat overtook me, and so I went home to lay in front of the air conditioner and to read the paper with a cold beer. All in all, a lovely weekend.

Au Revoir, Summer

2007-09-05T23:32:00.000-04:00

The weather is still warm, and we're two weeks ago from the official starting point of Autumn, but fans..Labor Day means goodbye to Summer. It was a lovely one, overall. Some sunset photos from...where else? Fire Island. Enjoy.

Adventures in Queens

2007-08-24T15:09:00.000-04:00

Dear Fans,

What a night I had yesterday! It was a liquor drenched evening full of heavy Italian food, mobsters, cabs, and boobs. Yes, boobs.

I went out with the guys. (I really am enjoying saying that).

Some of the guys have been having a monthly Italian dinner and drinks night. They started in the Bronx, did Manhattan, and last night it was Queens' turn. It was also this queen's turn to be invited. (Har) The destination was The Parkside in Corona, Queens - a mobster-owned neighborhood institution. The drinking started fast and furious - these guys don't fuck around. Sloshed, and on my third bourbon by the time the bread got to the table, I realized that I don't fuck around either. The clientele was pure Queens. Lots of old biddies, fat guys in suits and couples on dates. One would expect this place to be all style (and I use that word hesitantly) and no substance, but I am happy to report I was wrong. The food was pretty goddamn lovely: Baked clams, large shrimp, excellent bread, good calamari. For my entree, I had a whole branzino fish cooked to perfection. I followed my meal with a large fernet and allowed my stomach to digest. (By the way, you know hard it is to find fernet in New York? At least at the places I go. If you know of any Manhattan bars that carry that, let me know).

All the guys could do in between eating was ogle the poor yet bitchy hostess. Admittedly, she had a nice body, but the way these guys stared at her, you'd think she was Elizabeth Taylor in 1955. And for the rest of the evening, that's all they could talk about.

Straights. Puh.

We took a drunken cab ride to Long Island City to hit the bars on Queens Blvd. We went to bars. Blah blah. After all the food and liquor, the guys wanted girls. Girls, girls, girls. All of them are attached, but damn if they didn't want to see some naked ladies. And they wanted Mikey boy to be there with them. After much convincing, I acquiesced. And so, I went to my first strip club. The place is called Gallagher's, and you know, it wasn't as run down and ugly as I thought it would be. Therefore, I did not have fun. I would have much preferred a Showgirls-like milieu. The guys loved it though, especially my office mate who apparently goes once a week.

Gallagher's was crawling with topless ladies. And they really do dance on a stage! They also walk around and touch you and try to make you take a lap dance. It was annoying and depressing. I didn't and don't want to judge what these girls do...I'm sure some like it and some don't, and bottom line, they're doing it for the cash. BUT...to me...it's depressing to witness. The whole time I thought "what if my sister had to do this?"

The guys tried to make me take a lap dance, but I stuck to my guns and stuck to sucking down the way overpriced beer. What was hot was seeing men at the club upstairs getting their lap dances...such a masculine image.

Come 1 am, I was thrown into a cab where I chain-smoked until getting home. The guys stayed at Gallagher's.

Straights. Puh.

Panic in the Streets of NY

2007-08-22T16:11:00.000-04:00

In the wake of my absence, have you all been lonely? Sad? Distressed?

You poor things.

I'd have written sooner had anything been going on. The last several weeks have simply followed the boring pattern of life - work, gym, home, dinner, boyfriend, sleep, and back again. Like waves on a beach, life has been a constant, if not after a while, dull, thing. Or like a motorway! (name that musical reference.)

A couple things to note: I've been eating watermelon like crazy this summer. I'm eating one large melon a week. They're so good and cheap! And it may just be me, but I think they're helping me lose weight. (I think that until I look in the mirror and see my beer belly.)

One other thing: I'm occasionally struck dumb by the fact that I've been a paralegal since 2000. It really shocks me and puts me in a cold sweat. I truly need to do something about that, though admittedly, I currently rather like my job.

Zach is leaving me for Labor Day weekend. No annual getaway. TOTAL bummer.

And that's all. As we hurtle towards Fall, one word of advice: DRINK!

Photo Essay: So. Cal & Random NY

2007-08-03T23:33:00.000-04:00

Over a month ago, I went to California to celebrate my sister's graduation from high school and my mother's 50th birthday. It was quite an enjoyable trip. As a graduation gift, I brought my sister back with me for a week. Here are some photos from those events.

Summer Reading List

2007-07-31T12:03:00.000-04:00

Hey y'all,

Some summer days are perfect for lazing in the sun, preferably at the beach with a beer at your side. Most, however, are perfect for staying inside where the air conditioning keeps one cool and happy. The best non-alcoholic companion in either of these situations is a good book.

I love reading. Always have, always will. I tend to stick to non-fiction, especially history, but I enjoy other genres. A habit I have is to read more than one book at a time. This month, I am reading five. Yes. Hey, it works for me.

1. Madame de Pompadour by Nancy Mitford.

I adore biographies on royals and their retinues. While I lean more towards the Brits and Russians, French royalty was absolute and marvelous. Madame de Pompadour was the mistress with the mostess (har har). A good read so far.

2. Ava Gardner - Love Is Nothing.
I loooove reading about Old Hollywood stars. Before I started reading this detailed biography, I must admit I had little interest in Ava. She was late-period studio system, and I enjoy stories about earlier stars. But by gum, I'm glad I picked this up! She was, well...fierce. Total star, passionate, exciting and gorgeous. A good read with lots of old Hollywood gossip.

3. Jack the Ripper. A not-so-gripping account of the Whitechapel murders. I'm afraid I don't have the book on me, so I can't tell you who the author is. He does start off well with a history of the East End of London which fascinated me, as that is my favorite part of the city, but it's a droney book. I'm unsure if I will finish it.

4. The last Harry Potter book. Shut up. I like losing myself and pretending I have powers. Ok? Whatever.

5. Anglomania.

A fun read, though Jack the Ripper keeps getting in the way of it which is why I may retire that book. In this book, the author chronicles the Anglophilia experienced by famous personages of the past. For instance, Voltaire who the author, Ian Buruma, declares the ultimate Anglophile. A bit dry, but an amusing read so far.

Ok fans, what's on your Summer reading lists?

All Quiet on the Lower East Side Front

2007-07-27T12:19:00.000-04:00

Sorry y'all, I just haven't felt like writing. Pics coming at you soon. Hopefully. Maybe tonight if I don't zonk out.

i Haven't The Foggiest Clue

2007-07-18T12:29:00.000-04:00

Dearest Fans,

Apparently I have been living under a rock. A mountain, even! Because I've been absolutely clueless over this new iPhone thing. I don't use an iPod and am fairly proud to admit I don't follow the news regarding the latest gadgets. (Not to say I feel expanding technology is bad, but I'm a lo-fi kind of guy. I like my CD walkman, dammit!) But yes, I had only the vaguest notion that this iPhone thing was coming out. Well, now I know, only because it is a now constant presence in my gossip columns, and thus, am ready to proclaim my opinion of buyers of this machine:

Tools.

Well, most purchasers, anyway.

I feel there are two types of people who are buying this thing: 1. Technophiles 2. Lemmings. That first group, I have absolutely no issue with. I have a friend in Boston who just loves technology, computers, etc. I love that he loves that stuff, and so this iPhone is another great product he can use in his every day life.

This second group, though, well, they're obviously the kind that do as others do, who buy what they're told they need to buy. Good little lemming consumers who need the newest accesory to flaunt. They make me want to puke. For instance, I received a mass email from an old beau, someone I haven't spoken with in years, informing the recipients that he had indeed purchased an iPhone and even changed his long-standing phone number to accompany his new toy. (The fact that he is gay, gym-bodied, trendy, etc., etc., is another rant for another time, but ties into gussied up queens into the latest [non-sexual] toys.)

I don't feel bad having such a judgmental opinion because I know when these people see me using my CD walkman or using a 3 year old cellular phone, they judge me. They figure me for poor and/or hopelessly out-of-date and I peg them for being tacky and vapid consumers. That's how it is, and that's fine.

But I'm right.

F You

2007-07-11T10:36:00.000-04:00

I take the F train every day to work. Up until this week, it's been, overall, fine. This week, however, is a hot one. Which means underground it's 10 degrees hotter. Which means, of course, that the F train would choose this week to continually fuck up. So, let me clear how I feel about my train this week: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK that filthy, fucking, foolish, fuck up of a train line!!!!

This has been your public service announcement.

A New York Morning

2007-07-03T11:13:00.000-04:00

So, my beloved sister left me this morning. She is flying home to California after an extended two week trip. I loved having her around, even at the expense of my privacy and "normal" life. We both shed a few tears this morning at the terminal. Though that could have been due to the atrocious early morning hour of 5. We got up at 4 after going to bed at 3. Since it made no sense to go all the way home from LaGuardia and sleep for two or three more hours at most, I decided to go to work early, especially since I had stuff to do. Before I came in, however, I had the lovliest morning.

Early mornings in New York are wonderful. Mostly because I don't normally experience them. When I get up, the day feels almost stale sometimes. But when dawn breaks, everything seems fresh, clean and crisp, even if it's not. I took a bus from the airport through Queens and got to see neighborhoods not normally seen. Already at 5, many people were up and on their way to work. They probably don't feel that the day is clean and crisp. Drudgery comes in all forms, fans. But this isn't about them, it's about me, isn't it?

Upon reaching Manhattan, I still had some time, so I went to Zach's favorite diner, the Waverly Restaurant. It's very old-school in there..lots of plants, signed photos and old leather. It has that lovingly upkept and worn feeling. It's comfortable. Anyway, I never get to eat breakfast, much less at a diner, so it was a treat for me. By the time I was done, it was 6:30 and time to head to work. I decided to walk up 6th Avenue to work. Again..that early morning feeling. Nothing 'happened', but it was a joyous walk. And then I started working. Boo.

I think it's fantastically fitting that I had such a lovely day on my New York anniversary. Yes, today is 4 years.

***

Sunday, my sister and I had a celebrity sighting. I wish I could care about it, but the guy is a dolt. David Schwimmer of "Friends" fame. The nicest thing I can say is that it was cool to be so close to someone who has been close to Jennifer Aniston. Snore. He was with Joey Slotnick. (I had to look him up on imdb.com. What a great site!) As great as the morning has been, I am old, therefore, exhausted. Let us hope I do not fall asleep at my desk.